Monthly Archives: July 2015

When a Good Thing Comes to an End

Today is perhaps my last quiet day home with just me and the kids for the summer. Monday morning, I officially become a full-time working mom for the first time. It’s a transition I am excited to make, and I’m beyond grateful for the opportunities it opens up for not only me, but also my family.

But of course, in order for something new and exciting to begin, it means the end of an era. The stay-at-home mom season of my life has to come to an end so I can become a teacher again. Seasons of transition always bring with them a jumbled excess of emotions to unwind and make sense of, so of course this summer has kept me busy doing just that.

The time I’ve been home with my kids has been an invaluable opportunity. It has also been the most challenging time of my life. I’ve undergone countless overhauls on perspective, purpose, needs, and identity.

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I now know the negative effects sleep deprivation has on me;

Sweet Summer

the impossible yet necessary quest to strike up a balanced friendship with isolation;

Me + kids

three-year-olds can give you bloody noses (unintentionally of course);

Sand box

I’m capable of praising and loathing poop multiple times in any given day;

CarRide

play dates are sometimes more important for the moms than they are for the kids;

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and coffee has miraculous powers.

I’ve also learned one of life’s most important lessons in the time I’ve been raising these kids I love so much: Every experience- both and good and bad – is for a season.

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom, and I will forever be grateful that God honored that desire of my heart, but for our family, it is time for a change.

My kids aren’t babies anymore because they weren’t created to remain in the infant stage forever. They were made to grow, and so was I. The greatest gift God has given me as a mother is that, no matter how many changes my family or I go through, I will always be a mom – Dash and Daisy’ mom. As their mom, I’m given an incredible responsibility to teach them how to be brave, try new things, and never stop learning or growing.

The saying, “All good things must come to an end,” may leave a melancholy air with it. As I’ve worked through my jumbled emotions this summer, I have decided it’s unfortunate and unjust to make that statement by itself. I’ve reflected on the numerous good things and times that have come to an end in my lifetime, but I can say with certainty that eventually, saying goodbye to those things has always brought about new good things, and oftentimes even better things.

So yes, I do feel a tad emotional as this time in my life winds up. I will obviously miss the luxury of staying in my pajamas on the mornings that follow up a rough night with a sick kid, but I am thrilled at the opportunity to leave a legacy with 130+ kids in addition to my own each year. I might not get to relish afternoon nap time in the way I used to, but I get to be a very active and empathetic cheerleader for Dash as we start school together in just a couple of weeks. Most importantly, I get to prove to my kids that it’s important to live with this philosophy:

When good things come to an end, make

 

The Broken Cookie Cutter Marriage

I never used to believe that I was creative.

No. I was too busy lining up cookie cutter pictures of the way life was supposed to be. The perfect good girl looks like this. The perfect student does that. The perfect Christian can’t think or dress that way.

I read book after book about the specific ways to find the perfect spouse and finally decided to stop trying to find a husband altogether. Then one day, when the last thing on my to-do list was to find a man, I met him. Instead of being “perfect,” he was the real deal, more bona fide than any suit-and-tie guy who only quoted the KJV I’d met. He was the just the right fit for me, exactly what I needed to give me a new perspective on how to look at life.

I’d spent 22 years building a kingdom exclusively out of cookie cutter cookies. The only thing is, as pretty as those cookies are to look at, they will never beat a batch of chocolate chip, mismatched in size and shape as they may be.

I have only grown to love the genuine man who has proven over-and-over that being real and true to who you are created to be is worth it. He has made me see that life is far richer when I will embrace the creativity that God has placed within me, even when it looks messy. Messy is real, and it can clean up into something that will inspire others.

On our ninth wedding anniversary, I celebrate the man who unknowingly started crumbling my cookie cutter kingdom eleven summers ago when we met. Others have tried to mold him into their definition of “acceptable,” but instead of settling for their definition of good enough, he has been brave enough to ask God what pleases Him first, and change according to His standard instead.

Nine years of living brings about a great deal of change, but what I love about having a marriage with two people who are real rather than ideal is that, for better or worse, it is rich. I am grateful that I married a man who encourages me to be real and has proven he meant his vows.

Even when I’m not looking or acting pretty, he’s my consistent encourager. He has not only been there in sickness and in health, he’s helped me clean up kid puke in the middle of the night, even though he had to deal with patient puke at work. He’s not only been there for better or for worse, but he actually believes that I can do better at my dreams and passions than I’d ever allow myself to imagine. He’s worked hard and sacrificed much to make our poorer days rich in memories.

I thank God that, when He gave me Tanner, He didn’t send the picture I had in my head. He sent me someone far greater than I could have imagined.

New Love

Love Today

A fun little then and now. Top picture was taken the summer Tanner and I met, and the bottom one I took today.