This morning I forced my sleepy eyes open when my mind realized the alarm was going off in real life rather than in my dream. I knew that staying in bed wasn’t an option, but I turned on the lamp, then snuggled under the covers for another couple of minutes, dreaming I could stay there another hour.
In a fire house a few miles away, however, my husband was awake and moving, preparing to end his shift. Motivated by the fact that he deserved to be picked up from work because he’d had his own long day with not nearly enough sleep, I pushed my feet onto the floor and reasoned with the fog in my brain that driving in this current mental state would not be safe for anyone involved.
Just as I began to see a glimmer of life from outside my fog, my phone rang. A need for a last-minute babysitter. Could they meet us at the fire station in 20 minutes?
I’m not even dressed yet. Dash is still sleeping away. My regular babysitting job is still on for today, so I’ve got to pull it together to be on time to pick up my man as well as prepare for a day with three kids three and under in exactly no seconds.
It was in this moment when I realized it for the first time in the day. I need Jesus – desperately! In my mind, my day went from zero to crazy within five minutes after waking up. So I prayed that prayer of desperation, “God please empower me. It is impossible for me to be where I need to be, show the love I need to show, and have the energy I need to put forth with how I’m feeling in this moment.”
As the day progressed and each child shined with exceptional behavior and I watched as my husband lovingly brought shrieks of laughter to the two older kids on the trampoline when he probably would have rather taken a nap himself, I saw my desperation prayer answered beautifully, far beyond what I deserved.
When I was feeling especially weak this morning, God gave me a gift in making me realize earlier than I normally do in my morning routine that I need Him. The more days I live on this earth, I find myself daily realizing that I need Him. Each day contains some form of desperation prayer, and I’m grateful to see the variety of ways He answers each prayer. Sometimes the circumstances require even more prayers where I plead for His grace and strength, other days like this one I can utter awe and thankfulness for His presence in the details of a foggy-brained mommy.
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