Expectations and Nevertheless

Expectations have a way of causing a girl to spiral. At least this girl. And based on my interactions with other honest women, I’m not alone.

It all starts with a dream. The perfect wedding. The perfect husband. The perfect children. The perfect job. The perfect church. The perfect Christmas. The perfect house. The perfect life. All of these perfect dreams eventually turn into nightmares because in that dreaming process, we don’t allow reality to enter the picture.

Inevitably, heartbreak enters the picture when our imperfect selves meet up with aforementioned reality. We know no ones’ perfect, but a girl can dream, can’t she? Perhaps. And yet I wonder.

Instead of allowing the dreams to take over, what if we really put into practice the mindset of “nevertheless”?

“Here is my dream, God. Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done.”

I learned this beautiful challenge from a precious friend who waited over a decade for God to allow her to become a mother. When He miraculously placed a baby daughter in my friend’s arms through the most unique adoption story I’ve ever heard, she said she got it.

How much more bearable the excruciating time of waiting would have been for her had she just surrendered with nevertheless. When every last dream was seemingly crushed with each year that passed, God was gently trying to tell her that, in His own way, He was saying: “Just wait. Surrender. Stop spending so much time trying to fulfill your dream in your own way and give everything up to me.”

Jesus Himself had to face this breaking point on the cross when He set the example of saying nevertheless. As He probably pictured the perfection of heaven, of the beauty of a sinless life while going through the most humiliating, painful, lonely death, He let go of the pictures of perfection so that one day, we can live in perfection.

What is your nevertheless? I have a couple myself, and as I trudge through the waiting to reach a more beautiful perfection than I can even dream up in my expectations, I pray for wisdom to see a reality that is full of peace, hope, and joy.



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