Monthly Archives: September 2011

Where Do I Find My Worth?

I love underlining verses in my Bible. When I’m down, desperate, and in dire need of a verse to meet my current need, I love to be able to flip open the Word and easily reference God’s promises to me. Then there’s some verses I wish I could just skim over because they convict me of an area I need to repent and refocus.  One such verse is Psalm 119:37.

I know that the only reason I underlined it at some point in the past was because the Holy Spirit wasn’t giving me an option. In the midst of a beautiful, lengthy psalm, this short yet simple passage stands out in what seems neon lights to me, even if it’s only a blue pen underscoring the words.

“Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.”

Really, God? You had to put this one in there? I mean, what’s the harm in spending some down time relaxing?

Honestly, nothing.

That’s not the problem with me, though. I don’t let it stop with down time. When I’m tired or overwhelmed, I often find myself doing whatever I can to shut my brain down. I don’t work through anything in the process, just escape for a while, and then when my TV show (or shows) come to a resolution or the fifteen articles I skimmed online still haven’t given me a sense of peace, I shamefully begin to comprehend that I didn’t even consider the ultimate form of peace. Except to tell God that I’m just too tired, unworthy, or confused to deal with it and I need a break, I haven’t talked to Him about it at all.

Then there’s that other pesky problem I seem to struggle with shaking. The one that knows God has a purpose for me each day. The one that resists being used by Him in all the ways I can feel Him telling me He wants to. That same part of myself escapes from His sweet yet strong beckoning by finding something, anything to keep me busy. The worthless distractions are sucking the meaning of my life right out of me.

I do not want to resist Him any longer. It’s time for me to turn my eyes away from the distractions that are truly worthless in light of eternity. I want to have a meaningful life, and though it’s painful for my flesh to purge these pleasures, I am striving to apply this verse to my life.